| | An intriguing memoir collection
The first time is always the
hardest. "Virgins!: A Memoir of the Sexual Revolution" collects reflections from those who were virgins during a
time where sex and free love were promoted heavily and worldwide. Not everyone jumped into bed with a partner; these are their
stories of dealing with a hectic time of social revolution. An intriguing memoir collection, offering a different perspective
of the 1960s and 1970s.
August 8, 2008 Educated Quest  Every once in a while a writer has to read outside their comfort
zone in the hope of becoming a broader thinker and a more understanding author. Given that I have written a novel about the
past politics of sex educationand another story that, among many things, contrasts the anti-war movements of the Vietnam Era and today, it was appropriate to review a story, in this case a memoir, that combined both.
Virgins is a memoir of six
relationships between the author and her lovers, all but one of which began during the "sexual revolution" of the
late Sixties and early Seventies. All of the men were virgins at the start. The author, through her lovers, takes us on her
journey from young college-age virgin to experienced woman. The idea of the experienced woman is very much a part of the sexual
revolution.
This is not my usual read, but I learned a lot. For one thing, I have never read an author who better
addressed intimacy in a story; her description was well-balanced, neither metaphoric nor pornographic. I saw a woman facing
uncertainty, but I also saw men facing it, too. That was a different, and interesting, twist, as most stories show men as
confident, even over-confident, and women as always uncertain. I also appreciated how she fit her life into the political
activism of the era, even though she was not a leader of masses.
Would I place this book into a sex education
class? I'm not sure. For one thing, the author places her relationships in the context of the drug culture of the past as
well as a social movement. That would turn heads, even in more moderate communities. However, this memoir is too honest, and
all too real, for a college-bound woman to pass up. Or for their mom to sneak into their belongings while dad is not looking.
Stuart Nachbar
Education Quest - http://www.educatedquest.com/about.html
September 1, 2009 Originally published on
Curled Up With A Good Book
at www.curledup.com.
Is every relationship defined by the first meeting? If
we had met at a rock concert, would we have been fast, sleazy and drugged? Or if we met at the Art Institute, would we have
been civilized, artsy and reserved? Or perhaps in a garden – Lincoln Park along Lake Michigan – would we have
combined the best of the city outdoors with a country give-and-take?
The above questions posed by author, memoirist and
sexual experimenter Zola Lawrence give some outline to the subject of her book – the physical and emotional encounters
with men that she purports to recall and that she depicts graphically (though not porno-graphically) in Virgins! . Zola posits herself as a typical young woman of the swinging 1960s, and I believe that in that claim she is
on solid ground. I came from the same times, and absent a happy and fruitful marriage, I would have comported myself, I’m
sure, not much differently than she did. It was the tenor of the times. Women longed for the freedom men had always had –
to hitchhike (she marks that one off the scorecard in the first episode of this five-part memorial to the battle between the
sexes), sleeping on the floor (ditto), getting hurt and disillusioned by members of the opposite sex (ditto). In other words,
beginning in the early 1960s women got to catch up with men in the realm of sexual exploitation and disappointment, raunch,
risk and revenge. With one big difference. Men did not have to worry about getting pregnant. This has always been a major
de-equalizer in the struggle for women’s rights. We watch as the “I” narrator slips into pervasive mild depression, also typical of the era: “In
between twice-a-week therapy, blue Valium, and unemployment checks, life becomes normal.” For the uninformed, blue Valium
is the strong stuff. That is not the only drug that Zola partakes of, her “reefer madness” playing a major role
in her slide into insecurity and neurosis, even into jail. Yet somehow she manages to stay alive, support herself for the
most part, and even obtain a Master's degree. Zola’s sexual journey
begins in America , but with an Englishman. He encourages her in her daring new appreciation of her physical capacities but
can hardly provide the deep love or abiding caring that the young woman seeks. Eventually she stops longing for love and goes
for sensation, like the men she meets. She invites us into her bed and her mind as she has sex with a man who has been fantasizing
about other women: “At home in bed, you make love to all those women, I
see their images flash through your mind and into my vagina as you plunge in and I feel dirtied…I feel a mixture of
masculinity claim my short, female self, as if I reach into your heights and steal touches of your mind.” Zola’s
reflections provide a glimpse of Everywoman, Superwoman, and Woman Scorned. The author is in actuality a sophisticated,
world-traveled professional writer who has spun a tale of girl-into-woman exploits that will have those of the female persuasion
giggling, snuffling, and feeling sure that Zola has been there with them in spirit through the hormonal and socio-political
confusion of discovery and growth. Kudos to Zola for her deft, open-minded and amusing treatment of this fascinating and profound
subject matter.
©
Barbara Bamberger Scott, 2009
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